What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why did my crush like me for only two days in a row?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new

What do you mean son?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

Do you think President-Elect Donald Trump won the presidency fair and square, or do you think the GOP resorted to blatant unlawful practices to tilt the election?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?